Thighs, Tits and Tummys: Rihanna for River Island

Unless you have been hiding in a small, windowless closet for the last week, you will know that Rihanna has launched her debut collection for River Island as part of London Fashion Week.

This much anticipated collection was hyped up until Twitter was fit to burst- at one point I thought my newsfeed was about to explode with the amount of ‘#rihannaforriverisland’s before my eyes, seemingly multiplying like bacteria. Despite the phenomenal build up, Rihanna for River Island left me for the most part cold. Let me explain why.

rihanna for river island

Firstly, the collection itself just isn’t that exciting. It’s dull, it’s samey, and most of all, it’s predictable. Rihanna has been given an incredible opportunity to launch a new branch of her career, but doesn’t really seem to have done anything new. Moreover, the very fact that her name will be on the price label means that whatever she creates, it will sell. I’m sure if Rihanna designed a proverbial bin liner dress, it would sell out. Essentially, sales aren’t a problem. Which is why I am thoroughly disappointed that the collection is so predictable. When you think of Rihanna, what do you think of? Flesh flashing, PVC, lycra, S&M- you’ve got it. And what does the collection contain? Exactly those things. Creativity wise, I’m giving it a solid 2/10. Snore.

Whilst watching the live stream, it occured to me that the all the tops were so see through I could see each and every one of the model’s nipples. The set up of the show, with it’s strange boxes and models walking all over the place, was just annoying. (If you want to watch the whole show it is available HERE ). Before you think I am on a completely prejudiced hate-mission, I will admit I do quite like the yellow garments in the collection, and the floral trousers worn by Leomie Anderson. But that’s about it.

Furthermore, I am sure I can’t be the only one who is just a little fed up of Rihanna and her ‘wild ways’. I use quotation marks because her constant spliff smoking and bondage wearing must be some kind of sadistic PR stunt. I am in constant disbelief that the woman is openly back with her beater of a boyfriend, publically smokes cannabis and dresses in little more than leatherette straps, yet parents still fill their daughter’s Christmas Stockings with her albums. She is a fantastic performer, I’ll grant you. But what I dislike about Rihanna is that she has a wealth of responsibility on her shoulders, yet seems to chew it up, spit it out, and laugh in our faces.

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Ri Ri’s latest announcement of a collaboration with MAC only confirms my growing disdain and scepticism for her. Hearts and baby pink metallics look more suited to the front cover of a teen magazine than a department store counter. In usual celeb collaboration fashion, I am sure River Island will hike up the prices (Anna Dello Russo for H&M? No I couldn’t afford it either), which makes me even less likely to hand over my plastic.

Rihanna for River Island was one of the most talked about shows of London Fashion Week, even though it was not strictly part of the agenda. In my cold, honest opinion, the collection is nothing that hasn’t been done before by River Island. To be honest, some pieces in it are quite simply so slutty that they border on unwearable. Not to mention that all the denim is just simply crap. Perhaps one saving grace of the collection is that the pieces would work relatively well with River Island’s main Spring/ Summer collection which is based around tribal and 90s themes.

However- and this is a big however- there are a few pieces I would buy and wear. This is more than I can say for the dreadful Kardashian Kollection at Dorothy Perkins, or any of the ranges ‘designed’ by various TOWIE ladies. Above all, River Island have made a smart move in collaborating with Rihanna. It will not only boost sales, but it will shoot their PR through the roof. After all, who wouldn’t want the world’s biggest popstar to front their brand?

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You could argue that Rihanna has stayed true to herself by creating this collection. It is after all what she would wear- she is hardly the most ladylike person in pop.

The collection drops in stores on 5th March. I might not like it much now, but I know I’ll be heading in stores to take a peek…

All images courtesy of River Island.

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